So I got a call from my mom Rita a couple weeks ago, in which she asked for a huge favor. When my mom asks for a regular favor, I usually oblige. When it’s a huge favor, I’m usually thinking of an excuse as to why I can’t do it as she talks.
Rita goes on to explain the situation with my sister Rana. It’s the same old story: she’s 40, unmarried, working temp jobs, living with my father Roy… blah blah blah. Rita then said that both Roy and she pulled some strings and got her a banking job in Nigeria, but she knows Rana won’t go to Nigeria if she asked. So the huge favor, should I choose to accept it, was for me to convince my sister to go to Nigeria with me. Rita knew this was a huge favor because she knows how much I loathe speaking to anyone, especially Rana. We simply have nothing to talk about and never really got along. But the thinking was that, once Rana is in Nigeria for a while with family and friends, she’ll be more open to living there with a good paying job. I accepted, and I’ll explain why later.
I called Rana a few days later and asked if she wanted to come with me to Nigeria, explaining that Rita would probably pay for her ticket. Rana explained that she doesn’t trust Rita, believing that she probably has some stupid plan to get her married or something and completely ruin the trip for her. She said that she’s already planning to move out of our father’s house in a few days, as she just got a long-term temp job and found an apartment in New Jersey. Right then I realized what I was doing and felt ashamed. Why the hell did I agree to do this?! What drug was I on to accept butting into the life of a 40-year-old woman?! Who am I? I realized how well Rita played me and how vulnerable I am during depressions. Anyway, Rana and I talked for a little while and it was one of the very few times I actually enjoyed a conversation with my sister. I called my mom back and said that Rana’s not going, to which she thanked me for trying. I felt so low when she thanked me for being a weasel. I hung up the phone and then I realized what was really going on. I realized what this Nigeria trip is really about: my parents’ legacy.
In their world, you’re not successful until you have two things: a good job and a marriage. I don’t think my mom really cares if I go to see my grandmother’s funeral celebration. This whole trip is to try and get me looking at Nigerian women and putting them in front of me, hoping I’ll marry one of her friends’ stupid ass daughters. Ugh! She simply used my grandmother’s funeral to rope me in because she knows how I feel about familial duty, just like she tried to do with Rana. Ugh! My parents are trying their best to shape the lives of their adult children, as a last gasp effort to cement their legacy as good parents to their friends and peers in Nigeria. So now what do I do?
I’m writing about the situation this blog because it has to do with reaching my 2013 quota of 15k. My mom has been trying to get me to accept her paying for my ticket to Nigeria, but I’ve always refused. I don’t like people paying anything for me, especially women. It just doesn’t feel right. But if she’s gonna play this annoying game, then why should I pay for this ridiculousness? I say, let her pay and I’ll use that money towards property Delta. Right now, I have a little over 13k in my account. By the end of November, I should have over 15k, thanks to the five pay periods. If I play my cards right I could end the year at 17k or higher, making it that much easier to reach 50k by the end of 2014! That’s pretty damned good.
I’ll make sure to turn off my phone the next time I fall into a depression. I don’t think clearly and end up doing stupid stuff like this. If I was in my right state of mind, I would have told her "no" like I usually do, explaining that I don't get involved with this stuff. It’s a shame (and a tribute to my idiocy) that it took this long to realize that the trip to Nigeria has almost nothing to do with my grandmother’s funeral celebration. But now that I do know, I get a guilt-free trip without having to pay a dime. That much closer to 50k. That much closer to retirement.
P.S.: Listening to my sister reminded me of a quality that both she and my brother possess that I always respected when I was a kid. I loved that they always rebelled against the crazy stuff my mom and dad wanted them to do or to become. It’s nice to be reminded where I got that from.
P.P.S.: Rita has been having trouble getting low ticket prices and is desperately trying to find a good deal. If she doesn’t, there may not be a Nigeria trip after all. Given the recent developments, I can’t say I’m unhappy about that prospect.
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