Operation LFS

In a post I did last month called The Ties That Bind, I talked about how most of my family was getting in my way business-wise. Both my mom and sister think I’m an ATM, and my father doesn’t take my goals seriously enough to stop bothering me about taking time off work. I’ve been coming up with a plan to deal with this issue and here it is.

My plan, let’s call it Operation LFS (Lie For Success), is all about deception. I hate the very idea of lying, as it goes against my very existence. I live fully aware of my mortality and truth every day, so it feels weird to do the opposite. Also, I don’t like lying because I’m not very good at it. Having a sponge for a brain means that I forget a lot of things, both short and long term. A person with a bad memory makes for a bad liar, so I’ll have to keep things very simple. So let’s get down to the meat of it.

I’m going to tell my family that my jobs are cutting back on hours. I’ll let them know that my bank job has cut me down to 20 hours a week while my other job only has me work on weekends. This means that I won’t be able to purchase a property next year because I won’t be making enough money to qualify for a mortgage. Because of this unfortunate turn of events, I’m putting off real estate and going back to school in January to get my Masters degree in Education. With that I can start making money at a career job and resume buying properties with a more stable income. That’s it. That’s the lie. This keeps my mom (Rita) and my sister (Rana) from asking me for money, and it keeps all my days busy so my father (Roy) won’t bother me about “taking time off” to see him. My parents take education seriously, so saying the words “I have class” will get me out of virtually all family meetings, and I’ll use my need to pay more tuition as my reasoning for working on holidays instead of coming home.

I just read what I wrote and this is so fucking childish. I’m a 30 year old man that has to lie to Mommy and Daddy so I can do business the way I want without interference. The alternative is to simply tell the truth, that I can’t stand them and they have to stay out of my fucking way for a while. I would have to say it this way because that’s the only way to say it truthfully. What Operation LFS does is compromise with my ego so that I can solve this problem without any changes to my psyche. I’ve already told them that there are “rumors” that my hours might be cut because of the economy, so I’ll lay the hammer down next weekend.

I’ve already started Operation LFS with Rita. She came back from Nigeria this week and called me. Rita started in with the “I told you so” speech and ended with the “maybe real estate isn’t for you” speech. I then told Rana, who couldn’t care less and was focused on talking about her problems. My dad, Roy, will probably say the same as Rita. So far, it’s going as planned. I’ve seen people do worse to distance themselves from harmful family members, so I don’t feel too weird about this. I’m going to keep it simple and refer to this blog in case I forget something. The act of lying feels childish right now, but it all comes down to my philosophy of variable elimination. The less people I have around me with their hands out, the easier it will be to become successful. (Besides, I’m sure they’ll find a substitute for me fairly quick.)