The Ties That Bind

This post has taken a total of two days to write. I’ve been writing my thoughts out and organizing them until it makes sense. After a total of 11 pages written, I think I can finally summarize it in two words: Family Sucks.

As I expected, my mom Rita called me from Nigeria to say that she needed some money. Before she left, she gave me $1000 to send to her when she called. But now she was asking for more money, going as far as to throw out numbers as if it were no big deal to me: $2000, $2500, even $3000! Then she asked if I can pay her cell phone bill. When I told her that I lent Sha all my money, she asked when I was going to get it back and if I can send her something from my paychecks. Ugh! My sister Rana called me a day later and said that she couldn’t stand living with my father Roy anymore and wanted to move out. Her complaint was that he would ask her where she was going whenever she left the house. Yeah. She then asked me to lend her $140 for hold her over until the next round of Obama extensions for unemployment comes out. Ugh! My father Roy, meanwhile, has been bothering me about coming down to Brooklyn for Thanksgiving. Spending a day with Roy and Rana together? Ugh!

Rita could have easily given me more money to hold for her instead of forcing me to spend my money, then go through the torture of asking for my money back. Rana can easily work as a waitress or a secretary while she applies for career jobs. Roy knows that I like to make extra money during the holidays and wants to ruin that just so I can go to Brooklyn and “enjoy” a tension and complain-filled Thanksgiving with him and my sister. They all come to me with their ridiculous problems that always end up with me losing money. I’m gonna have to do something about these people because I can’t enter Phase 3 with these weights on my back.

A big part of my business ideology has to do with “variable elimination”. I have no wife, no kids, and I live rent free in my make-shift basement. I don't have any costly habits like smoking or drinking. I eliminate as many variables as possible and focus solely on success. For the most part, my family and just about everyone I know are now variables. The only two people in my life to not present obstacles in my way are my brother Rex and my best friend of 20 years, Brooklyn Mike. My first thought was to cut most of my family off. I’d give each of them a call and say something like this: “I feel that you will be detrimental to my success, so I don’t want to speak to you for the next few years until I’ve made it.” I could say that without worrying about how they feel. The reason why I can’t say this is because of how it will affect me. My mental state isn’t the most stable, and I’m afraid of what I will become if I cut them off completely. Like it or not, family is a part of me. Severing them from my life would mean unknown changes in my psyche and I can’t take that risk right now.

I can’t enter Phase 3 with these issues surrounding me. It would go against my principles on “variable elimination”, plus it would make it more difficult to succeed. I believe Biggie when he said “the more money you come up with, the more problems you see.” I believe that, as I get better at this business, the amount of money being asked for will greatly increase and I don’t want that type of atmosphere to seep into my business, especially when it’s just getting started. People seem to have this perception of me as Mr. Moneybags, where everything I work for is available for them. Hell, one co-worker just asked to borrow $20, while a former co-worker asked me to buy his lunch (I don’t mind the latter because he’s buying my lunch tomorrow). I had to come up with a plan to end this cycle and I think I’ve done it. I’ll explain it in detail in a future post, as I’m still working out the specifics. It’s a sad day when family is standing in the way to success; it’d be an even sadder day if I let it happen.