In an August post, Postponing Me, I decided to stop writing my social blog. The social blog was designed to monitor my sociopath issues and help turn my weaknesses into strengths. It was immensely successful, but I stopped it because I felt it was taking up too much of my time and needed to focus on the business blog. Since then, I’ve been growing steadily in my business knowledge. Unfortunately, due to a couple of incidents, I have to continue the social blog.
There are two incidents: the first I can talk about, the second one I can’t. About a month ago, I went to Chase to deposit a check while I was at the bank job. In front of Chase, the Occupy protesters are camped out. I’m still not sure what their point is but I don’t care. I was headed back to work, one of the Occupy protesters started yelling at me from afar. I guess he saw me in a suit (the security suit) and figured I was a fat cat or something. Anyway, he started yelling that I should join the cause and stop helping the federal government to… something, I can’t remember. I was trying to ignore him and cross the street, but I could tell that he was focused on me and only me. As I crossed the street, he said, “Yeah run! You running from the fucking truth fucking corporate pig!” Everything that happened afterwards was like a very fast blur.
I walked up the ramp of the parking garage where I parked and grabbed my trusty “Operation Iraqi Freedom” knife that was given to me by a former soldier who couldn’t pay me back for cigarettes that I bought him. I knew what I was doing but I couldn’t stop myself. It wasn’t until I was at the base of the ramp, heading back to the Occupy encampment, that I regained control of myself and put the knife back in my car. The second incident occurred a week ago and I… I took things too far with something, but thankfully I won’t get in trouble for it. The point is that these incidents raised too many questions to be ignored.
What if I had the knife on me at the time when I was out of control? I could have lost everything, and for what? Some guy calling me a corporate pig?! Put in context, it’s actually quite amusing that a $9.25 an hour security guard wearing an almost paper suit can be called a corporate pig. But this is borderline psychotic. Being a sociopath is tough enough, but not having control over one's actions is a form of psychosis and I want NO part of that.
The most important question is why. How is it that an Occupy bum that I don’t know was able to push a button that almost no one has been able to push? One of my ex-girlfriends, Marla, was the most contentious person I’ve ever met, wanting to goad be into an argument at every turn. I never got mad at her, not even close! I was frustrated, of course, but never angry. There are other people in my life that have pissed me off worse but I didn’t have that reaction, so what was special about the Occupy bum? That’s why the social blog has to continue while I do my business blog. It’s too dangerous to take these questions into Phase 3 unanswered.
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