Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Covering the Nicky Bet

Alright. Okay. I give up. I’ll have to admit it. After weeks of denying it, I’ll finally have to admit that I made a mistake moving Nicky into the upstairs of property Alpha. I tried as best as I could, but it looks as if things aren’t going to work out with my resident idiot.

On Monday I went by the place to pick up some rent money. Nicky wanted me to bring something to show how much she owes because she’s too dumb to figure it out and too unorganized to keep track of her payments. When she opened the door she was wearing this incredibly skimpy outfit that showed off every curve of that awesome body of hers. I mean, I was standing side by side with her and all I had to do was look down to see everything under her shirt. She invited me up and I gave her the paper to show how much she owes. She then gave me a fraction of what she usually pays and asked if I wanted something to drink. I said no and left.

Nicky was trying to flirt with me or entice me or whatever (and even if she wasn’t, I’ll take it as I see it regardless). I took extreme offense to what she did and it only confirmed my suspicion that she won’t be able to catch up on payments. I consider money much more important than sex; otherwise she and I would have been on the living room floor “reducing rent”. But a woman doesn’t resort to seduction unless she’s got nothing else to offer. I mean, I would have preferred it if she said something like, “Okay Roger, I don’t have enough. Can you please pimp me out so I can make you your money?” I’d still say no but it’s the thought that counts. Seriously though, I’m not sure why she’s having so much trouble but I don’t care. She has to go. Thankfully, I anticipated her defaulting on payments and created a Plan B before she even moved in. I was hoping that I’d never have to use it but Nicky has given me no choice.

In New York State, the eviction process goes like this: Landlord files for eviction. The sheriff’s department serves Tenant with eviction papers at their residence. If the tenant isn’t there, the sheriff tapes it to the door and leaves, mailing a copy of the notice to their residence as well. If Tenant doesn’t show up for court date, Landlord wins the right to evict Tenant but gets no money because Tenant was not served in person. If the sheriff serves Tenant in person or if Tenant shows up to court, then Landlord can garnish wages when the judge rules in Landlord’s favor. Serving a tenant is very difficult, especially with Nicky’s work schedule.

Plan B involves some questionable tactics so I’ll have to be as vague as possible. Plan B involves me getting rid of Nicky, having her clean the place in order to avoid an eviction on her record followed by her departure, then serving -->“Nicky”<-- with eviction papers. With that, I’ll have a clean apartment ready to rent out before the end of February just in time for tax return season, plus I’ll be getting my money back when I garnish her wages. That’s about as far as I can explain it without getting into trouble. I needed someone dumb to try this plan on so that there would be a high chance for success, and Nicky fits the criteria.

I leave room for hope. There’s always a chance that she can borrow money from a family member or something. But I have to make preparations for what will happen if and when she doesn’t come up with the balance. In hindsight, it should have never come to this. I should have kept the place empty and continued looking for more suitable renters. I should have NEVER accepted a tenant that only had $100 of the security deposit. Sha always told me that if they don’t have the money in the beginning, then I’ll be out of money in the end and he’s right. I should’ve, could’ve, would’ve, but I didn’t. I take some comfort in the fact that I took the risk of her tenancy with a backup plan, but in the future I’d rather wait for better tenants. Losing one month’s rent and getting a good tenant is better than getting a bad tenant and being out even more money. Lesson learned.

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