Bitch No More

The air smells a little sweeter. The birds are chirping a little softer. There’s a huge weight that I’m lifting off my shoulders and it feels great. I walked out of the city marshal’s about 10 minutes ago, after paying for the eviction of property Charlie’s Kylie Ray. This will be the last time I go to court to get rid of her.

Kylie was supposed to have $300 for me on Monday as part of her payment plan, but she wasn’t at home. She called me and said she was working late but could give me the money Tuesday. We were supposed to meet Tuesday morning in front of the Chase bank near my job (where she thinks I work), but she didn’t show up. I was going to call her and ask where she was, but I stopped myself. Enough is enough. So instead, I sent this text to her yesterday afternoon:

“Hello Kylie. I cannot continue doing this. I believe I’ve tried everything to make it work with you as far as the rent goes, but I have not received the money you said you would bring today.”

Ugh. It wasn’t until later that I realized just how much of a bitch I sound like in that text. I mean, it sounds like I’m breaking up with her or something. But, let's face it, I was her bitch. She had me running around to meet her for rent money. She had me calling her phone all the time asking for the rent. My phone has Kylie Ray listed in my “Favorites” section because I’ve called her so many damned times! I spent the most money for repairs over at her place, and the animal hasn’t paid rent?! Ugh, what was I thinking?! The tenant runs around for the landlord, not the other way around. I guess I was so blinded by my hope that I could keep those tenants together until 2015 that I refused to see Kylie Ray for the worthless scum that she is. I mean, she gave me the “lost in the mail” line. Every landlord knows what that means! I’ve learned that lesson before from my former tenant/co-worker Matt Philly back in 2011. Any tenant that says the rent was lost in the mail is most likely lying, and probably spent the money on something else. The only time that excuse holds a little weight is if the tenant has a spotless history of paying rent on time. I know this, yet I fell for it. I ignored common sense and it cost me. Just writing about how I screwed up here is giving me a headache.

It’s safe to say that I did everything in my power to keep all the tenants of property Charlie together and work with Kylie Ray. I broke all my rules, like the one about never picking up rent from a tenant personally. I was running around wasting my gas to pick up little bits of rent, while all my other tenants had already paid. Shit, Rory and Brie don’t have jobs (Rory does odd jobs and Brie is on disability), but even they are able to pay rent on time. Kylie Ray has a full time job that pays $16 an hour and a lawsuit settlement for thousands of dollars, yet she can’t pay $525 a month?  Well, I can call her every name in the book and wish every disease on her, but the truth is that this was my fault. I take the blame. The first time I took her to court to evict her and she ended up paying the money, I should have thrown her out with the 30 day notice anyway. And I definitely should have thrown her out after the whole “lost in the mail” incident, but I still thought there was a chance I could keep everyone together. Now I can see that’s not going to happen. And, even if I could keep everyone together, I wouldn’t want to. I’m not going through two years of dealing with Kylie Ray and her bullshit, especially when all the other tenants have no problems with rent. I can handle dealing with repairs. But not paying rent on time isn’t gonna be excused… not at my level of landlord experience.

So the eviction is set for next week Thursday. If Kylie Ray somehow pays the money in time, I’m still throwing her out. I’ll just have to give her a 30-day notice like I did before, and have her out by the end of October. I’ll call Rory to get her apartment rental ready. He's been asking me if I have any work for him, so this will be a good test to see if he’s worth anything as a handyman. The place is in surprisingly good condition, so the main thing I’ll need is paint, patching, and possibly a new carpet. I hate carpets, but putting hardwood floors in the place would cost far too much money. I have to keep the renovation simple for now, so I’m hoping to spend $400-$600 for everything including labor. It’ll probably be much more, which is why I used the word “hoping”.

I snapped out of being Kylie Ray’s bitch just in time. Had I continued buying her bullshit, I could have been screwed trying to get tenants in the winter. This way, I still have a shot to get a tenant while the weather is good. I’ll advertise the apartment on Craigslist for $550. I could probably get $600, but I’d rather start with $550 and move up to $600 at the end of next year. Whenever there’s a vacant unit, the most important thing is to get the apartment rented out as soon as possible with the best tenant available to stop the bleeding of money the landlord is losing. You know, I’m actually looking forward to this. It’s been a long time since I’ve done a turnover, so this can show if I’ve learned anything. I know I learned one thing from all this: Never ignore the warning signs and do what must be done to keep business running smooth in the long term. And remember what it feels like to be a tenant’s bitch and never let it happen again.

P.S.: I just realized that September marks a pretty important milestone. This is the first time I’ve had the same tenants in properties, Alpha, Beta, and Chi for one full year. That’s pretty damned good and it shows how far I’ve come. Keeping Kylie Ray around was unacceptable at my level of experience. Once I can find a new tenant for her unit, I hope to have that one year celebration next year, with property Charlie added to the list.

Update: It's 5:49pm. Kylie Ray's son just texted me and said:

"this is her son she left an envelope with me but she had to go back to work she couldn't get to you"

Couldn't get to me, eh? Fucking idiots. I won't respond tonight. Tomorrow they will get the eviction notice and I'm betting she will find some magical way to "get to me". I'll take her dirty ass envelope and, if she can pay the money (including the eviction fee) before the court date, I will give her the 30 day notice to get out by the end of October. One way or another, I'm done with Kylie Ray. Like the post title says, bitch... no... more.