Yesterday I had my appointment in the morning with Kylie Ray before work. I went there to collect whatever money she had for me and to let her know the reasons why I believe she’s worthless enough to evict. I made sure to avoid Rory and Brie… for obvious reasons.
From the second I walked into Kylie Ray’s apartment, she started apologizing. She said how sorry she was that she’s had to play catch up for so long. She apologized for having me go back and forth to pick up rent and about how her life is so disorganized right now. That was my cue to interrupt and say something like “Yeah, that’s not my problem. Get your dumb ass out of my property and let me rent this apartment out to humans.” But then she did something that threw me off guard. She said that she signed up with the “Bill Pay” program at Empower so that I will now get the rent automatically, and I will get it in the mail like I originally asked. She showed me the printout of the bill pay sign up from Empower. I use bill pay for everything so I know it works. I… I didn’t know what to say. Did Kylie Ray just do something proactive? Could she possibly be a mammal? Hmm...
She gave me $455 and said I'll get the rest on Wednesday ($415, for back rent, late fee, and the cost of filing the eviction), the day before our court date. She then asked if that was enough for her to be allowed to stay. I simply said “Let’s see what happens on Wednesday”, and then left. I mean, what other choice did I have? Say no to a well thought plan? Well, I didn’t say yes so I still have the option of throwing her out. Here’s what I’ll do: If Kylie Ray pays the money on Wednesday, I’ll forego the court date. I’ll give her the 30 day notice, but enforce it only if she fails to pay October’s rent on time. That way I’m still covered and can throw her out at the end of October as originally planned. Done and done. But, even though that situation was taken care of, I was preoccupied with a question.
You know, I’m a pretty good looking guy. Never had problems getting a woman after my high school years (keeping them is another story). So why is it that, in all the time a female tenant has had a problem with rent or being evicted, I’ve never been offered sexual favors in exchange for leniency? I’m actually serious about this. Don’t get me wrong, I would never accept it, as it would break my rules on business with tenants. And I’m DEFINITELY not asking this question in relation to the animal Kylie Ray. I was just curious. Once I was done with Kylie Ray, I sat in my car for a little bit to dwell on that question. I’ve had some prospective tenants flirt with me but that’s about as far as it ever got. When I first came here, Sha was screwing so many tenants that I got jealous. It wasn’t until later I realized just how much he was hurting his business by doing that.
If I had to pick one former tenant who I wished offered sex to me, it would have definitely been Nicky. I mean, she was just as dumb as I am, and had that dirty look with a nice body. Once again, I must note that, while I would never do it, it would have been nice to get offered some. I think the reason for the lack of offerings is that I present myself as all-business when dealing with tenants. I’m polite and all, but I always focus on the business at hand so it leaves no room for flirting. I create a business atmosphere which is, I guess, precisely what I must do in order to get the most professional responses from a tenant. Ah well, the disadvantages of being a good landlord. The important thing is that I’ve been given a second chance to keep all the tenants together and, so long as Kylie Ray doesn’t screw it up, it could actually work out. In the end, I guess the tenants can keep the sex offerings… just give me my money.
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