Dumb Gets Dumber

Wow, three posts in one sitting! I haven’t done that in a while. With the short sale property purchase happening sooner than later, it’s very important that I watch what I spend and to ensure that I make as much money as possible, including rents. Nicky, the tenant in the upstairs of property Alpha, is becoming a variable in this situation.

Nicky texted me a couple days ago to say that she was frustrated because her mail got sent back to her and she doesn’t know what to do. She’s not used to mailing rent because her landlord would always pick it up from her. She doesn’t know how to mail. Wow. I sat there in disbelief and then started laughing. I mean, you can’t possibly be so dumb that you don’t know how to mail an envelope correctly, can you?! I remember having to write a letter to our Congressman when I was in the fifth grade, or mailing letters to Santa in the 3rd grade! But Nicky is that dumb. She’s a nice girl and about as honest as a tenant can be, but she’s really dumb and the fact that she’s an EMT scares me. If I’m passed out on the floor and Nicky is the only one available to treat me, I think I’ll take my chances with death. Knowing her, she’ll treat me and I’ll somehow end up with AIDS or amputated legs or something.

I told her that from now on I’ll pick up the rent from her every Thursday. This arrangement actually works out better for me. Since I live in the basement of the same building, I’m not spending any extra money on gas. I actually save money on gas by not having to go to the PO Box every damned week. Plus I can keep an eye on her and see how she takes care of the apartment. You know, if she were just a regular chick I’d probably try to get in her pants. Like Mercedes, Nicky is dumb and dumb girls tend to be great in bed. Unfortunately she’s a tenant and I’ll never break the “business & pleasure” rule. Regardless, I can’t have her screw with my purchase of the short sale property. Even if it means that I’ll have to see her every week (which breaks my rule of limiting the amount of times a tenant sees the landlord), whatever I have to do to ensure that she pays me I will do. I refuse to let her become a negative variable.