I finished Project MFMA’s 8th experiment last night, called The Herd. I won’t go into detail because it’s not really business related, but it was like a massive revelation once completed. It’s like my entire reality just changed and I’ve been on a high all day today. I thought my ego was big before, but now it’s like my ego took steroids or something. I hope this new reality is permanent because I’ve never felt like this.
Last week, one of my old bosses from the bank job came down to the bank to visit old friends. After working as a sheriff for 35 years, he retired from there and took a job as the regional manager of security at this bank. Last year he retired from that as well, going off into the sunset to live out the rest of his days. I saw him in the parking garage as he was leaving and he told me that retirement wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, and that he got another job as a courier for vehicles or something like that. I found this weird, but it also reminded me of my dad, Roy. A few months after Roy retired, I remember him asking me if I can get him a security job where I work. I thought he was fucking crazy, but now I’m beginning to see the connection.
In contrast, there’s this old guy who works as a security guard with me. Anytime I see him, he’s always complaining about how he wasted his life and how he wishes he had made better financial decisions so that he wouldn’t be forced to work in his 70s. Both Roy and the bank job boss made good financial decisions while my old co-worker made bad decisions, yet they all end up working. Why?! I didn’t understand it. I remember a truck driver at the shipping depot job telling me that when someone retires, they feel the need to be useful somewhere. It’s like going on trips and vacations won’t feel good because they’re not useful or something. I still didn’t get it because, if you have a family to be with, then there are so many thing he/she can do to make themselves useful. It was then that I realized it was more than that. Their job is their identity. They own it. Their children grow up and move away, and their grandchildren only come by on vacations or something. Maybe it’s just that when they retire, they feel as if they are less than what they were.
Well screw that. When I retire from these jobs, I’ll bet it all that I won’t “miss” working here. I remember when people would come back to their jobs to visit, and I always thought that was really strange. I mean, you finally got out, so why are you coming back? Maybe some people see work differently than I do, but one underlying truth remains the same: If you’re not being paid, you wouldn’t be there. And besides, even though I won’t be doing any paycheck work, I’ll still be focused on keeping rents coming in and keeping business running as smooth as possible. I think age has something to do with it as well. I’ll be retiring from these paycheck jobs while I’m 32. There’s a lot more to do in life when one is 32 rather than 70, even if I have a cancer-ravaged body that sometimes makes me feel like I’m 70. Retirement for me is the first step to freedom, and I don’t walk backwards.
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