I… what can I say? Let’s just get this over with.
The other day I received a text from my brother Rex early in the morning. It went:
Rex: Just spoke to dad about cancer and stuff. Did you tell him about your blog?
Me: Hell no
Me: Why??
Me: ???
No response, and I sent that reply less than a minute after he asked that question. The cancer Rex was referring to was his own, which he successfully beat a couple weeks ago. As for the vague text, it made me extremely angry because, thanks to Rex not responding, I have no choice but to move this blog. Even if he texts me and says he was just curious, the well has been contaminated. My paranoia would never let me write the way I want to again on this blog. I don’t ever want to get a text like that again, and the only way to make that happen is to move the blog and change everything. Ugh.
What sucks is that I’ll have to create an entirely different blog. I can’t simply move the same blog to a different domain name because one can easily find me by doing quote searches like “6 Year Millionaire” or quoting a post title. I can’t use names like “property Alpha” or… shit I can’t even be “Roger Dodger” anymore! I’ll have to change everything and start new, and that… infuriates me. But it’s my fault. I should have never told anyone I know about this blog. I should have kept my mouth shut like I’ve been taught to. When I was a kid, I learned to never be happy in public. Whenever I would smile or laugh at something, my parents and siblings would tease me about it until it was no longer fun. I don’t hold that against them because… well, that’s in the past. But ever since the Nigeria trip, I’m beginning to realize that the lessons I learned as a kid still applies today. I left Brooklyn to come to Smalltown and start buying properties. My mom Rita decided to buy a property here as well and it’s been torture ever since. I have my two fulltime jobs and am working towards early retirement. My parents start bothering me about visiting them and taking trips, causing me to lose money just to placate their egos. It seems that no matter what good things I do and am proud of, my family can never know about it because it would be ruined. For shame. For fucking shame.
I’ve been looking around for the best blog sites and I think Wordpress is pretty decent. It’ll take me at least a week to come up with new names for everyone and everything, as well as write summary posts for 3 and a half years of trials and tribulations. That English degree I got from City College will finally have some use. Starting a new blog will definitely be something good, as I’ll no longer have to worry about family or friends reading my thoughts and finding ways to use them against me. It’s just sad that…
You know, this blog has taught me so many lessons. I started this thing in 2009, but didn’t start taking it seriously until 2011. I had to make it public because I believed I could understand myself better and feel more accountable for my actions in a public forum. My theory was right, and I’ve become a much better businessman, as reflected in the higher credit score and the stable rents. But I’ve also come to know myself more and understand how and why I do the things I do. It has been an immense source of joy for me, so I guess it’s only fitting that family destroys it. I’ll try to get started on the new blog and erase this blog in a couple weeks. On my final post, I think I’ll leave an alternate email address that one can get the link to the new blog. I found some helpful tips and advice from the comments of certain people, and it would seem idiotic if I didn’t at least give an opportunity to follow the blog for those that do.
If my paranoia wasn't so bad, I might have considered leaving things as they are. But I am who I am, so I'll have to kill this wonderful blog very soon. A new blog. New name. New everything. This will be the final time I’ll have to learn the lesson of sharing happiness with family. They won't ruin another thing of mine. I’ll miss the familiarity I have with this blog and all the names I use for places and people, and I’ll definitely miss calling myself Roger Dodger. But I’m extremely good at adapting to change, so things should feel like normal once the new blog gets settled in. But right now, it... it just sucks.
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