Losing Focus

I was miserable yesterday. I felt… so overwhelmed with stuff that I simply shut down and moped about for hours.

I had been running around all day, playing hookie and trying to get the apartment ready for Taniqua and Eugene. I needed a new faucet for the old claw tub in the apartment, and the only sets that Home Depot or Lowes had were over $1000. So I went to a local plumbing supply store and they had the basic set for $120. I needed someone to install it, so I called a plumbing guy who referred me to another plumber guy who gave me a quote of $500 just to install it. $500 to install a faucet?! Fuck you! I then decided to try out one of the handymen referred to me by a fellow landlord. The guy tried to turn the nuts at the back with a wrench, but after 2 minutes of trying they wouldn’t budge. So he said I needed a professional, but then asked for $10 for his "troubles".

Me: For?

Handyman: Well, I came over and gave it a shot. Most companies would charge you more for that, just as a service charge.

Me: I understand that, but you’re not really a company. And most guys would usually let the person know about the service charge before they get there, you know what I mean? You didn't tell me about a service charge.

Handyman: Oh I get it. But don’t you think I should get something?

Me: Not really.

Handyman: Okay, well I think that’s a little messed up but it’s alright. You have a blessed day now. (He walked towards his car, and then came back to mine) Hey buddy, I understand what you were saying and all, but if you want me to do business with you, then YOU gotta understand that people don’t just show up and do these things for free.

Me (looked forward; refusing to look in his direction): I don’t have arguments.

I was extremely annoyed at this point, and I was afraid that if I looked at him I was gonna get out my car and make things worse. The handyman took the hint and walked away. I was furious and I really wanted to run him over as he walked towards his car. What he said was partly true, but he was wrong in assuming I was gonna pay him $10 for an non-negotiated service call. As I was driving back to work, he called me again to remind me that he can still do a lot of work for me and asked that I not get rid of his number just because of a misunderstanding. I said I understood, and then erased his number the second I got off the phone. Not just because he’s an idiot, but because his prices were too high. I asked him how much he would charge to replace a window, and he said $85 if he doesn’t have to do anything extra. Carver would do it for $50, so fuck him. But the exchange with the handyman bummed me out, and then I kinda… I… I got discouraged.

I started thinking about just how far I have to go before I can retire. I dwelled on the fact that the only people who showed up to property Charlie were minorities, a telltale sign that the neighborhood isn’t as good as I thought it was. I starting thinking about my parents, and how my mom’s property repairs and my dad’s ego were holding me back. I started thinking about the huge amounts of money I’ve already lost … between the furnace for Chi, the $1000 down-payment for the Jeep, and the two months ($1000) that the apartment at property Charlie was vacant. And, with the bank job hiring people to finally fill those vacant positions, the overtime money will be gone and it was wasted on bullshit! I started thinking about March, and how the Africans were gonna be a major headache for me very soon. I probably won’t get new tenants for property Chi until April or May, which means I may go into June with the same amount of money I had at the beginning of the fucking year! Meanwhile, the bank had a big meeting in the vacant building and I walked by all these seemingly successful people having a party for themselves.  I was… jealous… and… overwhelmed, and I felt like everyone was laughing at me. I’m fighting with family, repairmen, Africans… it was as if the entire world was against me and wanted me to fail. I was being over-dramatic, and no amount of "Come On Eileen" was gonna get me out of this one.

Dejected, I drove to property Charlie after the bank job yesterday to give Taniqua the keys to her new apartment. She then said something that was pretty cool:

Taniqua: Hey, Eugene wanted me to ask you if it’s okay if we pay a couple months in advance. We wanted to get settled in without having to worry about rent and stuff.

Me (trying not to sound excited): Um… yeah, it shouldn’t be a problem. We will simply make a credit to your account that you’re paid up to a certain date.

That felt good. I'm really liking these people now. From that moment on, I was able to put everything in perspective. I used Angie’s List and found a great plumbing company that did the job for $119, MUCH less than the $500 that asshole quoted me. They even added shut off valves for the tub and it was still less than half of the original quote! I just gassed up the Jeep Cherokee this morning with cheap regular instead of the premium, which means that even after all the extra driving I had to do, I can still go 10 days without having to fill up. Having nothing but minorities show interest in Charlie’s apartment wasn’t good news, but if I can keep that place 100% occupied for two more years, I can kick everyone out and renovate to bring better people in as planned. The Africans will only be a temporary problem, and soon property Chi will no longer be my responsibility altogether. All my other problems will be taken care of because, as much as it may not seem so, I know what I’m doing. I’m not bad at this game, and I'm only getting better with experience through "trial and error". The problem I had, which is one I seem to have every year, is that I momentarily lost focus.

It’s kinda like the marathon runner, you know? Marathon runners can’t spend time thinking about how far they have left to go or look at every distraction they come across. They can’t dwell on the things they’re carrying that slows them down. They only concentrate on every single breath. Every stride. That’s it. I can’t look to my left or my right, and I can’t think about how far I have to go or dwell on my future problems. Every breath. Every stride. Pacing is everything. It doesn’t matter if the world is against me. It doesn’t matter if I look to my corner and there’s no one there. I've never been one to need someone in my corner anyway. I have to keep focus on what’s important, and focus on what I have to do each day. There will always be problems on this road I’ve chosen, but I’ve proven that I can do just about anything if I really want it. So bring on the problems. I’m focused and ready. And as far as that finish line goes? I’ll get there when I get there.

P.S.: 2/28/2014 Update: Angie's List has a coupon that gives me a discount for those specific plumbers, so I actually paid $109! Why do I continue to make Angie's List my last resort?? I could have saved myself a lot of aggravation.