The Idiot Strikes Again

Ever since the Nigeria Trip, I’d been in a funk that I’m only now beginning to dig myself out of. One of the things that’s helped me has been 80s music. It’s corny and campy style never seems to disappoint and puts me in a pretty good mood. Yesterday I found a song that I absolutely cannot stop listening to: Dexy’s Midnight Runners’ “Come On Eileen”. That song is so damned cheesy and that’s what made it perfect to listen to. At the shipping depot last night, I was actually smiling because I was listening to this song on a loop for 5 hours straight. I'm dancing to it in bathrooms and singing it out loud in the car. I’m sure that I’ll hate this song by Friday, but right now I’m in love. With that bit of good news, let’s get to the bad news.

I’m a dumbass. I know this, and anyone that has read this blog would concur. I do stupid things that I know are wrong, and end up paying the consequences for them. I… I left something out of that post I wrote about telling the Africans I was throwing them out. See, I had an ulterior motive in wanting to tell them--- specifically Hanna's brother Omarion--- verbally about the 30 day notice. I was trying to goad Omarion into a fight. Ugh, I am definitely gonna hate writing this post and reading it back tomorrow.

Ever since the Africans moved into property Chi three years ago, Omarion has gotten under my skin more than once. He’s had this attitude towards me like I’m his enemy, as he would usually call to complain about something wrong with the apartment in a very aggressive tone. I really resented that, especially when 75% of the problems he would call about are defects his family were responsible for causing. So when I knew I was gonna throw them out, I especially wanted to throw it in his face. I went over there Saturday morning because I knew he would be the only one awake. I made sure I told him about the 30 day notice with a smile on my face, because I knew it would piss him off. I made sure to point out that most of the repairs that need to be done are suspicious, and I believe they were caused by his family. Even with all that, Omarion didn’t budge. He didn’t raise his voice like I had hoped. We didn’t get into an argument which would have made him put his hands on me in some way that would, in turn, give me the green light to beat his ass. He didn’t do anything. For that day, Omarion was the better man.

Ugh. Ooooh, that last sentence stings. I really am a dumb animal, and I don’t know what I was thinking. Who cares how badly he pisses me off? I’m a landlord and he’s a tenant. I have more to lose getting into a fight, no matter what scenario I play in my head. And, as I’ve always said, as I grow older there’s less and less reasons to get into physical altercations. This situation could have easily been avoided by me not being a dumbass. Simple as that. Kings to Omarion for not taking the bait and being better than me… that day.

Umar, Hanna’s husband who lives in the upstairs apartment, called me yesterday to confirm that both apartments have to be vacant by March 31st.

Me: Yeah, everyone has to be out by the 31st so that we can do renovations.

Umar (slightly dejected): Oh. That may not be enough time to do it. Is there any way we can have more time?

Me: Unfortunately not. The contractors have to start doing the renovations on April 1st so everyone has to be out before then.

Umar: Oh. Roger, can I ask a question? (I agreed). Does this have to do with all the times the downstairs people were calling you for repairs? (In other words, he wanted to know if this was personal.)

Me: No, not at all. When a building has a lot of repairs that need to be done, the property management company decides whether it’s better to get everyone out and then make all the repairs at once.

Umar: Oh. I see. When the contractors are finished, can we move back in?

Me: No. We will rent out to different tenants.

Umar: Oh. And you don’t have any whole houses for rent?

Me: Unfortunately not. All of our apartments are occupied.

Umar: Oh. Okay. Thank you.

Me: Yeah, no problem. And if you have any other questions, just give me a call.

THIS is how I am to handle every situation, especially one in which tenants obviously don’t want to leave. Keep it professional, keep the lines of communication open, and never get personal. If I was gonna be honest and make it personal, my response to his questions would look something like this:

“Yeah, I’m throwing all you assholes out because I gave you an entire house to yourselves and you managed to fuck that all up by causing almost $7000 worth of damages since the family moved in three years ago. You can say that some damages were the fault of the house and not the tenants, but I look at everything as black and white. During your tenancy, I’ve paid more money for repairs than properties Alpha, Beta, and Charlie COMBINED. And property Chi isn't even mine! I like you, Umar. You seem like a good guy. But you married into the wrong family and they can all kiss my ass! Try to find any other landlord in this almost all-white town that would rent to all your black-asses and fix all the problems in the speed that I did. I wish you luck, Umar. I really do. But your wife and her whole ungrateful mongrel of a family can go straight to hell, with NO stops at purgatory.”

That’s a “personal” response, the same as it would be if I had gotten into a fight with Omarion. It’s silly stuff that is fun to write down or fantasize about, but should never be acted upon.

Although I take full blame for this, I think the catalyst for my plan to kick Omarion's ass was the Nigeria trip. Ever since I came back, I’ve been very anti-African. Whether it’s towards family or people on the street, I’ve had a real bad attitude towards them. Spending $3100 on that furnace definitely made things worse. But what done is done. I'll send out the 30 day notices tomorrow morning, and then the countdown is on. But I won’t forget the shame I feel every time I read this post and realize that I was very close to making this situation a lot worse than it need be. For shame...

P.S.: I wonder if things would have been better had I been listening to "Come On Eileen" Saturday morning. I can't see myself getting psyched to beat someone up to that song. Hmm...