Unfortunately, this won’t be my last post. The happenings of this week has made it next to impossible to clear my head long enough to focus. After writing this post, I’m hoping for the clarity I usually get after writing a post, which would allow me to write my last post tomorrow before I leave for Brooklyn. Now, let me unclog my head at last...
The Good
The downstairs Africans of property Chi paid rent plus late fees. I forced them into a corner once I called the management company looking for a reference for them and said I’m evicting their asses. That feels good. You know, I practice good and honest business, and I don’t normally get rewarded for it. But, in this case, I stuck to the rules. I didn’t lie to the property management company just to get the Africans out of my hair. I told the truth, and that allowed them to make a good decision in picking a qualified tenant. Back in 2009 I remember lying on a referral just to get the blacks living in property Alpha at the time out of my hair. I always felt bad about that, and I promised never to do that again. I may be forced to give them an extra month but, as long as rent is paid, it shouldn’t be a big deal.
The Bad
I got a call Monday night from Brooklyn Mike. He sounded awful as he said that his mom just died. I… hmm. You know, I can’t even talk about what that means to me on this blog, so I’ll save that for the new one. The important thing is that the funeral service will be held on Monday at 5pm in Brooklyn. This would mean I would have to go to Brooklyn this Saturday to see my dad, go back to Smalltown to work the 12 hour Sunday shift, and then go back again. I initially told my dad Roy that I wouldn’t be able to make it, but I’ll just take the entire weekend off at the shipping depot and get everything over with in one weekend. No sense in going to Brooklyn twice, right?
The Quandary
When I initially told Roy I wouldn’t be able to make it because a friend’s mom passed away, he gave me a mini-speech on how important it is not to break commitments with family. This from a man who hasn’t seen is brothers and sisters in years, and has family in Nigeria pissed at him for not coming back home. My blood was boiling and I wanted to rail on the guy, but I held it together and will wait for the right time. What bothered me was my definition of familial duty.
I’m going to Brooklyn Mike’s funeral, not because of his mom, but because of him. I consider both he and Nino best friends, which means I’m obligated to “be there” for them if need be. I’ve told them on more than one occasion that I’d kill or die for anyone that I call a friend… the word means a lot to me. Now, let’s add Roy into the equation. Just seeing his or Rita’s names pop up on my phone annoys the hell out of me. I don’t have very good relationships with either of them, especially after the Nigeria Trip. So, if I follow through with my plan to cut them out of my life, what does that mean about my values? How is it that I can be loyal to people that aren’t related to me, and yet so dismissive of blood family that has known me ever since I could fit in a palm? I’ve seen people that don’t get along with their families and refuse to communicate with them for whatever reason. They’re always morally fucked up and angry and… is that me? I don't want to be one of those American jerks that value friends over family. But how do I create a balance that works?
Usually by this paragraph I’d have an answer, but I’ve stared at the screen for over 10 minutes and I’ve got nothing. Part of the explanation, at least, is that one can choose their friends but not their family. I chose Brooklyn Mike over two decades ago, and Nino over a decade ago. One doesn't have a choice when it comes to family, so that helps with the "why". Now for the "what". Roy is trying to bring a broken family together while keeping his ego intact. Rita wants to do the same. The same egos that keep their offspring away from them. Both don’t seem to understand or care that I’m doing my own thing here in Smalltown, and could give a shit about either of their egos. Isn’t there some middle ground that we could agree on? As the youngest of the immediate family, is that really my responsibility?
I want… I want a solution to this problem, but the only solution I keep coming to is to be rid of the pair of ‘em. They’re not helping my goals. They can’t help my goals. My goals were the only things that gave me something to look forward to while I was going through treatments. It’s all I’ve got. They are concerned with themselves as I am, so how do you get three selfish egotistical people to see common ground? I… I dunno. I keep thinking about the levels of learning, and how the things I’m sure about today I might regret years later. Great as I may be, I can easily admit that I don’t know everything. So what do I do? Maybe I’ll have the answer before Saturday. If not, well… I wish I could say it was nice to know ‘em.
P.S.: Looks like my sister Rana, my brother Rex (by phone), and Roy’s pastor will be at this family “state of the union”, although I have no idea what the hell the pastor is there for. As much as I disagree with Rana's financial choices, I love the way she speaks her mind, especially in these situations. I’m actually looking forward to this, as I’m pretty sure it’ll end in chaos. But as long as it’s the chaos I want, it’s all good.
P.P.S.: (3/14/2014 Update) So I spoke with Roy yesterday and he asked if I ever called that girl I met at the funeral celebration. Remember that girl with the amazing body, Tai? Now how would he know who I was with and, more importantly, how would he know that I got her number? I think this was both Rita and Roy's plan to get me hitched or something. It's the only thing that makes sense. Oh yeah, I'm definitely cutting that cord. It's either I cut the cord or wrap it around their damned necks.
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