The Curious Case of Nicky Mo

On Thursday evening I came home at the same time as Nicky’s welfare friends did. The girl, Gretchen, asked me first if I’m the landlord and then if I accept Public Assistance. I asked her why she wanted to know since Nicky only has until next week to leave. Gretchen looked at me wide-eyed as if she didn’t know, then thanked me and rushed upstairs. I went inside, laid down on my bed and thought to myself: “This is gonna get interesting.”

Yesterday I was playing hookie from work. I came out of the house to check up on property Beta and Gretchen was outside, almost waiting for me. She was wearing this “trailer-trash-tanktop-daisy-duke” combo that I still can’t get out of my mind. I don't know what's the deal with me and trailer trash but that's besides the point. Anyway, she came up to me and practically begged that she be able to stay until June 8^th because she really has nowhere to go and had no idea Nicky's lease was up. I was planning to file on the 31^st so the court date would have been on the 8^th anyway, but I told her okay as long as she cleans up the place while she’s there. Gretchen then complained of how dirty Nicky is and how she has bedbugs, and how Nicky never told her that her lease was up. She also told me that Nicky was fired from her job as an EMT and now collects unemployment, and that Nicky is barely in the apartment anymore, coming by only to take clothes or take a shower. This gave me an idea.

This morning I went to the city marshal’s office to file an eviction. Instead of doing the 30-day notice eviction, I figured I would do the non-payment eviction. I figured if Nicky is barely there anymore and she’s unemployed, I can sue her for the rent owed for the month and get some money out of it by garnishing her bank account. As I was filling out the forms, Gretchen called me and said she had spoken with Nicky. Nicky told her that she never received a 30-day notice and that she’s not leaving. FUCK! 

I called my lawyer, Marvin Wassle, and asked him whether it’s better to do a non-payment eviction or a 30-day notice eviction. Marvin reminded me that, if I do a non-payment eviction and she could somehow come up with the money owed, then my case would be dismissed and I would have to file again for the 30-day notice one. I balked at the idea of her coming up with $800 while being unemployed, but then I remembered who I’m dealing with. Nicky is extremely resourceful and has a tendency to come up with rent money from out of nowhere. So I’ll have to file for a 30-day notice. Double FUCK!

Marvin also reminded me that I can’t file for a 30-day notice eviction (officially called a holdover eviction) until the new month begins. This sucks, because the 1^st is on a Friday, which means I won’t get a court date until June 11^th! (In Smalltown, a tenant is usually given eight days to get things resolved before a court date. Since the eighth day from the first is a Saturday, I have to wait until that Monday the 11^th to go to court.) I was so hoping for a court date on the 8^th so that I could have her out that weekend and have from the 11^th until the 15^th to get the place rental ready. And once we go to court the judge might actually give her until the end of the week to leave, which would mean I have to deal with Nicky’s bullshit for 15 days!! Triple FUCK!

I don’t understand people like Nicky. How does one have a kid, a good job, and everything going for them just to screw everything up in less than six months. Gretchen said that Nicky could always move back in with her parents, so maybe her parents are enablers? Oh well, who cares. I’m glad Gretchen gave me the heads up on how Nicky is planning to fight this, so I’ll have someone on the inside feeding me information because Gretchen really seems to hate Nicky. I knew Nicky wouldn’t go easily, but I am pissed that this is gonna drag out halfway into June. Plus it’s gonna cost me to have Marvin take the case. I was comfortable doing it myself, but it’s better to have Marvin Wassle handle it just in case Nicky comes up with some way to defend that I can’t respond to. As long as the wording and the address of the 30 day notice is correct and she receives mail at that address, Marvin says that a judge usually won’t give a shit what the tenant says. It also helps greatly that I have the delivery confirmation proving that it was sent. So I’ll let the guy who’s been doing evictions for 25 years handle it and watch from the courtroom seats. Better to be safe than sorry I guess.