Roger's Kids

You know, Sha continues to say that I’m gonna be in a world of shit when I get married. I tell him that I’m never getting married, he does that “Yeah right!” thing that seems to be the standard response to my attitude. He seems to think that everyone deep down wants to get married and start a family of their own. But I seriously don’t want a wife or kids and, even if I did, I’m not the kind of person that does well in a relationship-type environment. I can fake it for a year, maybe two. But forever? And having kids? Me? Nah. Besides, I already have three kids.

Property Alpha

My very first kid, Alpha Dodger. He’ll be 7 years old in a couple months. I had a one night stand with a dirty bitch named Bank of America and he was the result. I learned a lot about taking care of “kids” through him. Now it seems he’s getting older and can handle himself quite well, no matter what the situation.

Property Beta

My second born, Beta Dodger. He’s 6 years old and has a rich upbringing. His mother and I, Wells Fargo, aren’t together anymore but we still have a good relationship. Beta goes to school in a great neighborhood and I did his hair a few years ago, a style that won’t need to change for 30 years. 

Property Charlie

My newborn, Charlie Dodger. She’s only 5 days old but is already one of my favorites to take care of. I had her with a cute girl named Empower. I’m not sure how long this relationship will last, but I’m hoping it’ll last a while. Since it’s my first girl, I’m sure I’ll have challenges in raising her. But I think I’ll do okay once I get the hang of it. From here on out, it’ll be nothing but girls

The great thing about them is that, instead of costing me money like most kids, they make money. They don’t talk back and I don’t have to worry about them too much as long as I know what I’m doing. Once they become useless to me, I can sell them to someone else as long as the mother approves the sale. I have to make sure they are taken care of and look presentable, or else I’ll have to deal with Child Protective Services (Code Enforcement). Other than that, raising these kids is what I want to do for the rest of my days. It can be a challenge sometimes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.