Howard and Me

Things are actually normal for once. All the properties are occupied with no problems so far. The issue at property Chi with the two outlets turned out to be just one outlet, and it’s a wiring issue that an electrician needs to trace. So, pay an electrician a ton of money to trace wiring for one stinking outlet or forget it and tell Umar and Hanna that there are other outlets in the apartment? Yeah, I thought so too. The only thing I really have to do repair-wise is to slowly make property Chi look good from the outside: what I call the property Chi Beautification Project. Each month I’m gonna set aside some cash to take care of little things-- a new screen door, vinyl siding repair, painting the porch floors—to make the place look nice again. I want to have the confidence needed to throw the Africans out at the first sign of trouble, even if Narish’s people don’t want it.

On Tuesday I was still pissed off about that whole Martin/Zimmerman thing. I called my shipping depot boss to tell him I wasn’t coming in and he was fine with that. As I sat home, I realized that I was not only losing money, but I was losing it for a stupid reason. I wasn’t really pissed off about the whole situation, but was rather afraid that the hillbillies at the shipping depot would talk about it and I might lose my temper. So I decided to take a risk. I called my boss again and told him that I’d be in. As expected, they talked about it but I didn’t care. All was well and I must begin to believe in my abilities to control myself. I'm extremely strong when it comes to willpower and control. Just because I slipped up with the construction workers in May doesn’t mean that I’m completely out of control. So everything went well. And I had some back up, just in case I became overwhelmed with the idiots of the shipping depot. It was the best back up any person can have at a job they hate. I had the Howard Stern Show.

Ever since my last year in high school, I’ve listened to the Howard Stern Show. 15 years of entertainment. Every single crappy job I’ve had since then was a little easier to handle thanks to that show. It’s 4 hours (sometimes 5) of the best entertainment on Earth, and it’s perfect because I can listen to it through my bluetooth without the need to look at my phone. The interviews are great. The jokes are great. The insight on current events is unmatched. And the best part is that it’s entertaining. I won’t care if it’s hot as hell and I’m patting down dirty sweaty package handlers because I have Howard Stern telling jokes in my ear. In fact, I would usually look upon people favorably when they tell me they’re a Howard Stern fan. It meant that they thought like me, had an open mind, and laughed at the same things I laughed at. I had stopped listening to him for a long time since I had the old TV shows I would put on my phone. But now I have something that I don’t have to look at, so it really looks as if I’m doing my job. The pattern is to go in the Howard Stern website and read through the shows for the week. The best ones are the ones I get from a torrent and I put it on my phone. Instant entertainment. I started listening to him at 5pm and it ended at 10pm (pausing from time to time when I had to deal with trucks or package handlers). I forgot how much fun it was to sit back and have Howard Stern entertain me, but now I’m making him a part of my routine. Two episodes of Howard every week gets me through the Tuesdays and Fridays at the shipping depot job. Doctors orders.

The coolest part is that he plans to retire in 2015, just like me. So when he’s done, I’ll be on my way out too. It actually gives me something to look forward to when I go into that job. Whatever it takes to keep me working is what I’m gonna do, and I’m gonna ride the Howard Stern Show into retirement.

P.S.: Come to think of it, retirement seems to be everywhere. My mom Rita plans to retire from her job in 2014. Nino’s mom is retiring in 2014 as well. I gotta make sure I’m next on that sweet sweet list, because I’m not getting left behind.