Looking Forward

Max Interval Circuit
30 out of 59 minutes. I might have completed this workout if I hadn’t previewed it beforehand. Seeing the people IN THE VIDEO lying down on the floor in pain at the very end of the workout lingered in my mind as I started. I’m expecting to be able to complete all these “max” workouts by the end of next week.


When I was a kid, my mom Rita used to say things like, “Don’t look to your left or your right. Just look forward!” I suppose it meant that if I had a task to do (i.e. clean my room, do my homework) then I should do it without distraction. As I grow older, I’m beginning to see a different meaning behind those words.

When I first arrive at the bank job early in the morning, my Nigerian co-worker, Ola, and I usually bullshit about everything from women to cars. Today when I came in, Ola was pissed off about something. When he was younger, professional soccer teams were holding tryouts in Nigeria. He and his friend, Bison, were supposed to do tryouts together, as they were both considered the best. Ola’s father, however, told him that he couldn’t go to tryouts because he wanted him to finish school, going so far as to rip up Ola’s tryout application. So Bison went to the tryouts and was recruited by Spain. Last night on Facebook, Bison sent Ola pictures of the house and the new Mercedes Benz he bought for his mother. Bison now makes 40,000 euros a month and posts pictures of the fun he has playing soccer and the beauty of Spain. Ola was depressed and started lamenting about how he wishes he could go back in time. I couldn’t help smiling because I remember when I was like Ola.

I remember when I would always get pissed off about the past and all my sentences started with “if only” or “I wish”. I think I even mentioned it in a post I did on my birthday last year, called The Birthday Boy. I would always get depressed, reminding myself all the time that if I had skipped college and worked the way I am currently working, I would have been retired right now. There was also a guy I went to high school with named Darren. He sold weed and always tried to get me to do it with him. I always declined, figuring that the hint of weed on my clothes would lead to a massive beating from both parents. After I bought property Alpha in 2007, he invited me to his home in Long Island to celebrate. His “home” was actually a mansion in one of the most secure neighborhoods in Long Island. I mean, one would have to make an appointment just to drive on the same STREET where his property is located. Huge mansion, beautiful long-legged Ethiopian wife, 4 luxury vehicles in a 5 bay garage, and a built in swimming pool in his basement… yeah, his BASEMENT. All of his dirty money is now in legit investments. I remember being depressed and jealous for months afterwards, thinking about what I could have done differently and cursing myself for not making better choices like Ola is doing right now.

I’m glad that I’m now able to see the past for what it is. All the “could haves” in the world changes nothing. I know people that do nothing but dwell on the past and the things they did wrong or the wrong that was done to them. They’re always miserable and seem to be forever stuck in neutral. It's like they ruin their present and their future by living in the past. I now look back on missed opportunities as a part of history and nothing more. If nothing about it can be learned from to help me in the present, then it has no value. I think about today and tomorrow, the only times that matter. I can still change what happens today and tomorrow, but yesterday is in the books. I can only learn from the past and move on. Looking forward is the only way to go.