The Press Conference

Max Interval Plyo
36 out of 55 minutes. So far, this is the longest time I’ve done a Max workout. My body gave out at the halfway point but I continued to push. I don’t stress myself on the warm-ups anymore. First warm-up I did completely. The second and third warm-ups I did about 70% of before I gave up. Gotta know my limits.


The reason I like the bank job is that I don’t have to deal with anyone. I come in, hang out with Ola, then retreat to the abandoned building where I relax, workout, eat, sleep, and watch downloaded TV shows. But there are some days, like today, when I’m forced to do my security duties in a public nature. The bank was holding a press conference and I had to do security for it.

The bank’s press conferences are a time where the bank president and a bunch of other idiots get together to pat themselves on the back about something. In this instance, the bank and other companies are sponsoring a musical festival and they wanted to recognize the main sponsors. So it’s me stuck with a bunch of millionaires in the bank. Having to listen to their pointless fake conversations wasn’t the worst part. No, the worst part is definitely the looks. They give me this “Put You In Your Place” look that gets on my nerves. I was just hoping one of them would be honest, walk up to me and say “Excuse me, you look really stupid. Worthless shiftless security guard.” At least it would have been funny.

I spent the next hour standing there like an idiot. I tried to block the conference out of my mind by looking around and planning how I would rob the bank and get away with it. Once it was done I got the hell out of there. Being a security guard is fine, as long as I don’t have to see anyone and no one sees me. When I’m around bank people in this ridiculous suit, especially those with seven-figure bank accounts, I get envious. On the good side, it’s the good kind of envy. I can’t think of a better motivator to retire from paycheck jobs than to be a part of these press conferences as a servant to the rich.