Roy's Legacy Can Wait

So I made my usual bi-weekly courtesy call to my dad Roy last Sunday while at the shipping depot job, just to see how things were going. In hindsight, I was better off continuing to watch the Biggest Loser than making that call.

My dad first started off by telling me about a conversation he had with his sister, who would be my aunt. She always asks him when she is going to meet me and, when he said he didn’t know, she responded: “So are you saying that I’m going to die without ever seeing my nephew?!” He said that this motivated him to get me to go to Nigeria in January of 2013, and that I should “mark it on my calendar”. I told him that I’d have to think about it, especially when he said that he wanted me there for two weeks! After that, he started asking me about my “girlfriend”, which is weird because it’s usually my mom Rita who likes to pry into my personal life. I told him that I don’t have the time since I’m working hard to pay for Fall semester’s tuition (hehehe, go LFS!), so he said that he would pray for me to get a good wife who can bear him good grandchildren. Ugh!

Roy is in legacy mode right now. He’s retired, nearing 70, and he wants to see some grandchildren before he goes. He also wants to show off the properties he owns in Nigeria, which he would probably want me to take over when he’s gone. The problem is that I have no interest in doing either. I don’t want kids and I really don’t like the idea of meeting anymore members of my family. Out of the 4 members of my family, I like my brother Rex and my mother Rita half of the time—and that’s out of just four people. Can you imagine how crazy it would be to bring so many new people into my life that I’m not going to like? One of the philosophies I’ve adhered to has been the more people I bring into my life, the more problems I’m gonna have. The same goes for having kids. The only thing more complicated than marriage is raising a child, and I’m not interested in either. Selfish, arrogant, and temperamental sociopaths should never get married nor have kids. It’s just dumb. And the thought of having another psychotic cancer ridden little Roger running around would scare the shit out of me. He’ll be feeding me poison and telling me that it’s prayer water in no time.

Roy’s a sneaky guy. I’m almost certain that conversation with his sister never happened. He will do anything and say anything to have his way, one of the few things I really like about him. For example, before I left for Smalltown he brought me over to his house and showed me his bank account. He also talked about his will, stating that he’s not sure how he will split up the inheritance and that it’s important that I stay in contact with him while I’m in Smalltown. It had the opposite effect, as seeing those six figure bank accounts REALLY made me want to compete with him and make it on my own. I’d rather let his side of the family fight over that money. Another time I remember him inviting me to his church because a special pastor was gonna be there, one of his friends from Maryland. As the prayer service was about to conclude the pastor, with his eyes closed, said that he felt a spirit telling him to minister to a specific person who is going to be a great man. He lifted his arm and pointed to me and I went up there. He said that I will be something amazing so long as I stay close to “family” and become closer to God. Caught up in the ambience of the moment, I’ll admit that I was fooled for a few minutes. Once I connected the dots I smiled and thought, “Oh you sneaky bastard!” It was just another attempt by Roy to get me close to him.

I respect Roy’s game and understand his position, but no there’s no trip to Nigeria in my cards—at least not right now. It’s tempting because it would be nice to speak my language with other Nigerians, and I’d love to hook up with some sexy ass Nigerian women (it’s been a long time). But now isn’t the time, and I’m certainly not gonna do it on anyone else’s schedule but mine. There’s a time and a place for everything, and right now it’s time to build up enough money and properties to finally retire.