Working Negro Addendum

After I got home yesterday, I went straight to sleep. I woke up at around 11:30am and just laid in bed for a few hours.

At first it felt good. I usually don’t get the chance to stay in bed and watch old TV shows, so it was nice. After about 3 hours of that, I grew restless. I found myself wishing I was working at either the bank job or the shipping depot. There I was, comfortable and relaxed on a rare day off, wanting to work so badly that it put me in a bad mood! Not to mention that one of the great things about having two full time jobs in the summer is that I have free air conditioning all day! The basement apartment is naturally warmer in the winter and cooler in the summer, but it’s a poor substitute for A/C. Here’s the thing: I need to make money. My mind has been trained to only do things that make money and it’s worked out for me quite well, financially that is. I’m always learning things about real estate and always finding ways to make the most out of every dollar. The problem is that I can’t enjoy simple things. I can’t enjoy having a day off. I can’t enjoy going to a restaurant. I can’t even enjoy going out on a date anymore. It’s like, whenever I’m doing something my subconscious is constantly asking the question, “Is this making me money? Won’t that cost me money?” My mind is on “financial auto-pilot” and, as much as it might hinder me socially, I need to keep it that way.

Until I retire, I have no choice but to keep myself exactly as I am, in constant “money making” mode. After I retire from all these paycheck jobs, I can sit back and have fun. I can go out on dates. I can take a vacation. I can do things that cost money because I would have reached that level where it’s okay to do that. Work hard now, play hard later. That’s how I fixed my mind to operate, and that’s the way it’s gonna be. I can’t do it any other way.