An Asset Issue

About 5 minutes after I wrote my last post on Friday, I got an email from the Empower mortgage guy, Petey Tim. He told me that there’s a problem with my assets. He said that the bank statements I gave him are from the LLC that I own. In 2010, I created an LLC and decided to put all the money from the jobs and the properties in a bank account under the LLC name. Petey said:

“The bank statements are from your LLC, so those are not your personal assets. You applied in your name personally and Fannie Mae will not lend to an LLC under this program. When I remove those assets the loan comes back from Fannie Mae as “ineligible” for delivery based on inadequate reserves and insufficient funds to close. Do you have any additional deposits in your name personally to consider? Without them I will have to ask my mortgage group to decline your request.”

Fannie Mae is the government sponsored lending institution that banks go through for mortgage money. I told Petey that all the paychecks that I deposit are in my name, and I’m the 100% sole owner of the company so there shouldn’t be an issue. I then asked him for suggestions. He replied with this:
 
“You are in a bit of a tough spot. If you transferred the funds into your personal account I believe there’s a seasoning period of 60 days based on Fannie Mae rules.”

So I emailed my lawyer Marvin Wassle and my tax guy Ross. Marvin stated that I should ask Petey if I could draft a resolution from the LLC stating that it will make a distribution for my purchase of the property. Ross suggested that, since it’s my LLC that has MY money in it, the LLC owes me the money. He said that he could write a “note receivable” from the LLC. I brought up all these things to Petey through email. He took a while to respond, as I don’t think this lazy bastard expected me to have both a lawyer and an accountant advising me. A couple hours later, he responded with this:

“Unfortunately, I’m not the expert on Fannie Mae policy. In my opinion, the best way to proceed is to move the funds into your name and then try to document the file to the satisfaction of their rules. They may accept a letter from your CPA that the funds were a distribution from the LLC or repayment of a note receivable.
 A note receivable is not an acceptable source of funds to close though so you have to move the $$.”

Even if one doesn’t understand real estate terminology, it is pretty clear that Petey Tim doesn’t really want to help me. I asked him for suggestions and he tells me “you’re in a tough spot”. I give him suggestions that he wasn’t expecting from a lawyer and an accountant, and he says that he’s not an expert on Fannie Mae policy? You’re a mortgage guy! How the fuck do you not know the ins and outs of Fannie Mae policy?! Petey Tim is just another Dan Gaber, and I’m sick of people like him. They want everything nice and easy but, the second there’s a problem, they torpedo the deal to save themselves from doing actual work. Marvin Wassle and Ross were able to give me suggestions on what to do in a mortgage dilemma, but the guy who does mortgages FOR A LIVING doesn’t know what to do? Bullshit!

I emailed the lady from CFB mortgage to ask her if the LLC bank statements would be a problem. Thankfully, I never told her that I was going with Empower, so she still felt an obligation to get me approved. I’m now waiting for her to respond back. Ever since this whole loan application started a couple of weeks ago, I’m been completely unfocused. I haven’t shaved. I can’t concentrate when I go to the gym or try to study Yoruba. I’ve been eating really shitty foods. I just… I’m obsessed with getting property Charlie. It’s all that I think about. Working at the shipping depot that Friday, knowing that the loan might fall through, was absolute torture. The thought of having to deal with these hicks for even longer and not have anything to show for it was depressing enough.

I’m hoping that CFB mortgage won’t have a problem with my bank statements, in which case I’ll go with them. Yes I’ll have to pay a higher interest rate and a higher monthly payment ($601 instead of $491 with Empower), but at least I’ll get the fucking property. And if she says that the bank statements are no good, then I’ll have to move all my money into a personal account. I share a personal account with my mom, so I’m definitely not putting 30k in there for her to see. I’ll have to open a new account there, or open one at Empower. Petey Tim is a bitch, but I can’t let him get to me. I’ll ask the seller’s lawyer if we could extend the deadline for the purchase of property Charlie until the end of May, and I’ll even put another $1000 down as a Good Faith deposit to show that I’m serious about pushing forward. It’s just another obstacle I have to get through, but I have to get through it quick.



P.S: I noticed that when Petey Tim saw how much I stood to make from the property, he seemed amazed at the existence of such a great opportunity for profit. Maybe he's hoping the deal will fall through so that he can buy it himself? Maybe not, but I put nothing past these monsters. Seeing a guy that looks like me about to make a deal that he can easily make is more than enough reason to believe that he would screw me over.