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Earlier in the week, my mom Rita called me. She’s going to Nigeria next month and is putting enough money in our joint account so that I won’t have to use any of my own money when she needs it. The woman is learning. We ended up talking about my pending trip to Nigeria, which has been moved from February of 2014 to January of 2015. Fine with me, because it means I can cash out my vacation time for this year and next year, an extra $1200 towards my real estate goals. It also gives me more time to learn Yoruba.

So I called my dad Roy and told him that I’ll be going to Nigeria and asked how much money I should bring. He said that I should have $1000 for the round trip ticket, and then an extra $2000. An “extra” $2000?! So I asked him why I would need so much extra money, and he gave a very vague and suspicious answer, something like “Just to buy some things that you might want.” I’m very good at telling when my dad is bullshitting me, so I went to my Nigerian co-worker Ola. When I asked him why I’m gonna need $2000, Ola smiled and said “You’re fucked, man!” Evidently, the $2000 isn’t for me, but it’s for the family back home. Because I’m coming from America, I’m supposed to have all this money to give them. Give? Them? For what??!!

Remember those thoughts of failure I put in the last post, where I was thinking about how hard I work to make money? Well, that applies here too. Do these mother fuckers think that, after all the crap I’ve been going through, I’m going to just GIVE them $2000 just because they’re family?? I’ve never even seen them before and they’ve made no attempt to contact me, so why do I owe them anything? That’s 314,049 Naira! You can start a business in Nigeria for 314,049 Naira. I mean, it would be one thing if they took that money and used it to start a small business or something that will make money for them. But seeing what Ola and Sha have to go through when they go visit their families' homeland, I don’t believe that’s the case. Their families ask for stupid shit like iPhones and laptops, expensive shit that doesn’t make money. And it’s not as if Nigeria is a poor country or something, and my dad Roy has a lot of money. So why continue that aspect of the culture in a family that doesn’t need it?

Look, I understand the concept of immigration and giving back to my family’s country, which is why I’m gonna do as I’m told. This is the one opportunity I’ll have to see my family’s homeland with my actual family, so I’ll obey the rules. If they want me to shower them with $2000 worth of gifts, then so be it. But if this is the culture that they wish to force on me, then consider this my first and last trip to Nigeria. The last thing I need is to bring new people in my life that will want money and offer nothing in return. If I was gonna do that, I might as well have a kid. At least a kid has an excuse.